Tuesday, January 31, 2012

YoU'rE JuSt So pReTtY In YoUr PaIn........

Hello my lovelies....

So lately iv been so consumed with Pinterest, home decor and DIY that i feel like iv kind of forgotten my personal edge to my blog. Who am kidding really, I try to forget my irritations but really im just hiding them away so i dont have to deal with them or face reality. So today its not a ranting session or even a sad post day, its just touching base and opening up to all of you that read and care about me ( Did i mention i love my followers)

Today is a new month and the same old BFN. Im not surprised any more and to be honest i begin to not really care about it, perhaps its because im now so callous that it just doesnt bother me. Pregnancy announcements and baby showers are not hard to endure and im just at peace. I love my life, I love my husband and family, and my longing for a child will never just dissappear. This past weekend while working with 25 gorgeous children, a small boy took a bit of a tumble. He slowly stood up, tears staining his cheeks and eagerly looked around for his Mama, his eyes frantically searched for his comfort zone. I knelt down and spread my arms open and he climbed onto my lap and into my heart. His small arms clutched at my shirt as he sobbed into my neck and I felt Love, and warmth. His small body fit perfectly in my arms and I loved every moment spent with this little stranger. When the moment ended and he managed to catch his breathe he squeezed me tight and jumped down to go play, and he was gone. The trip home left me feeling, just feeling. My thoughts always glide me back to the same thing, "Will I always just be a substitute Mama?". Perhaps this is the reason I am so calous now, iv thought it through so often that it just doesnt hit home as much as it used to, but trust me its still there.

I was scrolling through my Ipod and came across this song, its old and perhaps a little cheesy, but it certainly describes my feelings and thoughts toward infertilty and those going through it. There is a line that says "you're just so pretty in your pain", and isnt that so true..... Here we are, gorgeous woman with the world at our feet and yet we are masking terrible pain caused by infertilty. Take a listen if your part of the infertility bloggers.

I want to get to a point where this horrible thing "will never hurt me again". I know this post has been a little disjointed....... but i hope you understand.

With all my love

Thursday, January 26, 2012

LucY Is BaCk WiTh A BiT Of pAsSiOn.......

Hello lovelies....

so I'v been away a while, and when I say away I mean away from the blogging community. I suppose I just needed a break, and i also felt like my blog was becoming this wasteland of the same information all the time. Its time to get back in it with a little more passion.

This Morning I signed up for Pinterest, and Im still kinda figuring it all out but so far im in love with everything. Amazing how inspiring images can be huh?? I look forward to pinning (Am I using the correct terminology?) all the images iv collected and sharing with everyone.

A while back i spoke about fixing up my spare room and now im on a mission to really get crafty and get stuck in, I wanna do some DIY frames (a lil nervous ill admit but im gunna try). I found some great ideas for the home on Pinterest.... woweeee take a look:

OK so I constantly save images on my computer, Im sorry if some of these belonged to you, please forgive me! Think of it as me loving your style! deal???

I love you all for sticking by me even while i took some time off from blogging, I promise to be back more often.

With all my love ( as always)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

UUUUggggHHHH............. LuCy Is NoT BeInG a VeRy GoOd BLOgGeR>>>>

Hello Lovelies.......

Lately i have been reading, so much so that i forget that I need to contribute to the process too. You all write for me, so its only fair I do the same and update my blog. I kinda get engrossed in your stories and feel like im there with you, and when it comes to writing about my own life it just seems, well, mediocre!

Getting into the swing of things has not been easy, in years passed I seemed to ease into the year alot quicker but this January has been a major exception. Hearing the alarm buzzing in the morning has been a reminder of a new day and a whole new set of challenges, Bleh!. I think i need some new perspective, perhaps a drastic change? chopping all my hair off? I get brave and then suddenly snap back to reality and think how much I would probably hate short hair. The good news is that our holiday plans are back in action (after my kidney infection screwed up my last trip ) and Im totally looking forward to it, the plan is to do it for my birthday in April, and have the whole family tag along.

My business is starting to (very) slowly pick up and i have three bookings in place so far, thank you Google Adwords!

Last night I lay awake for sometime thinking about this year, what exactly would this year hold, would it be the year for a baby, the year for my business or career, the year of travels perhaps?. hey I'm just tagging along for the ride at this point, but all in all my hopes are for happiness. I am proud to say that one of my goals this year was to start wearing heels to work more often, and I have really done  myself proud!. I came across this saying the other day and loved it, perhaps the mantra for the year ahead?

Anyways im gunna put us all out of our misery and stop writing now, this post has been totally uninspired, perhaps ill go do some more reading...... hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm one of those days huh! yeah one of those days.

With all my love