LuCy Is HavInG OnE Of ThOsE DaYs..........

Hello Lovelies........

Blogging has been a hard thing to keep up with over the last few days and perhaps the last few weeks. The weather is not really playing its part in terms of the heat and I have been very busy juggling a full time job, being a face painter, a good wife and last but not least... blogger. I must admit I feel a little swamped and have neglected you all a little

This past Saturday Marsden and I ventured out to the Johannesburg Zoo for the first of 5 events that I have been booked for, besides two little "10 year old- I know it all" brats; the event went off without a hitch. I painted all the faces I needed to and was very pleased with all the work I produced. The zoo was happy, the parents were happy and it seems this may be the start of many more events to come.

A certain blonde haired blue eyed little girl just made my day. While waiting in the heat for what seemed like an eternity for a 4 year old, and changing her mind about 35 times before finally sitting for her close up, I was presented a very excited giggling face. "A BUTTERFLY!" she exclaimed, and her mind was made up. The pink and purple paint started to flow and with every stroke her heavy tired eyes closed a little more. Once I had finished she look up at her mom for approval, as if to say "did this lady do a good job?” her mom very excitedly nodded and told her that she looked beautiful. The small girl locked eyes with mine and stretched out her tiny arms, they only made it to my elbows but she embraced me with so much gratitude it almost made me get a lump in my throat.

This week will mark the 5Th failed attempt, of actually actively trying for a baby. I woke up this morning with a sense of deep disappointment. Five times seems so little to most, but the fact that I have not had any form of contraceptive in almost 5 years is still very worrying for me, my husband and my doctors. It takes a certain toll on your marriage when you struggle to fit in a missing piece. I say 'missing piece' because so many mothers I have spoken to have told me that once they had a child they felt whole, like everything fell into place. On Sunday I found myself looking at pictures a friend had posted on Face book of a child's birthday, the parents looked so content hovering over their small child with such pride and love. I got teary eyed and Marsden very sternly told me to stop crying. You see, it’s not only you that feels the sense of disappointment and sadness; it’s your partner too. Marsden didn't mean to lash out or be so stern, I believe he was simply just feeling the same way I did at that very moment and didn't really want to have deal with the tears and sadness all over again. You see Mars and I had planned that we would wait for children, and now we really have no choice but to actively think about it and try, or stand the risk of our disappointment being doubled in the long run. And yes ill say it, at times like these I need a Mommy hug.

Hopefully in the next few days I’ll begin to feel a little better and get excited about the very full weeks ahead. This weekend is mad with events, Friday Night is the 50th Birthday party of my second mom (I call her mom because she played a major role in my upbringing) Marsden and I are going to watch the Cricket on Saturday followed by rushing to a year end function that I have been booked to paint at. Sunday see's us rushing to a job at an 8 year olds birthday party followed by my good friend’s engagement party! Monday is a day of pampering as all the girls in the office get whisked off to do hair and make up for our black tie year end function (P.S: I don’t have a dress- eeeeeeeekkkkkk) and the following weekend is jammed packed full of face painting jobs for Serenity Creations. All in all very busy couple of days ahead, and the weeks to follow are much the same! and before I blink we will be singing loudly and watching Michaela open presents under the tree, only to blink again to be screaming 10, 9, 8, 7,......... and there you have it, 2011 will be over.

What do you want for Christmas?

Marsden vows never to say "this is going to be the best year ever", the last time he said it he lost me for 6 months and was unemployed. We both agree that we should rather pray that the New Year holds great things for us both and for our marriage. What do you look forward to in the New Year?

I won’t promise amazing things for the New Year, I will however promise to blog alot more and keep you all in the loop.

With all my love......