WhAt If We RaIsEd AwArEnEsS AbOuT InFeRtiLiTy???????

My lovelies

i found this amazing video through a blog and had to share it............

What if we raised awareness about infertility?

For my fellow bloggers silently or publicly struggling with the what ifs...........

 Lets stand in support of each other.

With all my love

LuCy LoVeS ThE MoSt WoNdErFuL TiMe Of ThE yEaR!

Hello lovelies.....

Wel first off let me just say sorry to all those that got a lil put off by my last post, It was not a good day for me but hey i guess we all have our days, right???

Christmas has come and gone and now the air is a buzzing with major new years plans all round, I always find new years terribly dissapointing and always vow that the next year i will do something better but this time round im just kinda over it. What are all you lovelies doing for new years this year? I plan to watch dinner for one, eat a great meal and enjoy some fireworks on my patio, although that could change as i have very convincing mates that may just twist my arm.

This christmas period has been very festive for me, filled with lots of family love and excitement. The major highlight from my festive period has to be my husbands surprise gift. the friday before Christmas day i was told that i was going to live at my moms house for a little while and so i was promptly evicted from my home by my dear hubby. Two days and two nights past and when I eventually saw mars late saturday night he arrived with this................

Two days and you arrive with a gift the size of a CD case? I was sooooooo confused!. Christmas day finally rolled around and when we got to open presents i rushed for the small red package, Inside lay the most beautiful necklace and I was so taken back, it was beautiful and precious, but two days? for necklace shopping?

We had lunch with the family and I was itching to get home, People started to leave and mars said we could go to, as my surprise was waiting for me at home. We raced home and my house was in complete darkness, i rushed up the stairs and started opening up all the doors frantically, and there it was. I walked into a picasso blue beach house themed bedroom. With all the things i had seen during the year and wanted desperatly. I burst into tears, for days Mars and painted the WHOLE room, hung lanterns and put up pictures, new cushions new candles new EVERYTHING!

That day i felt truly blessed and continue to feel blessed each day i wake up in this glorious little sanctuary we call home. I now am on a mission to decorate the house, the room is a true inspiration, take a look: (sorry for crappy pic qaulity)

I fell in love with mars all over again at the romance of this gift, the fact that he worked so hard on it was such an incredibly touching thing for me.

I hope you all having a relaxing festive period, I hope to touch base with more of you soon.

A Belated Merry Christmas...


With all my love

Lucy needs to let it out, bare with me.... or don't read it.

My lovelies

The title says it all, I don’t mean to be rude but this piece is going to be completely self centered and emotional, it’s going to drip with self loathing and have sudden erratic outbursts of anger. If you feel you can handle it go right ahead and continue reading, if not then I suggest you head over to a blog that will make you smile but as of now this is what's up.........

Weeks have passed and I haven’t had the chance to write a single thing for I love Lucy, How the eff do most women manage to write every day? perhaps it’s my loaded schedule and the fact that I haven’t had one day off in almost two months, perhaps it’s my constant need to make things happen for others and often neglect myself, or maybe it’s just that I am infact a pretty useless blogger and I just can’t keep up, it may be none but honestly I can’t seem to write as often as most.

Today is probably not the best day to write, but heck here I am spilling my heart out to the few that read this, quite pathetic really. Have I really become one of those girls that moan all the way through my blog posts, boring every reader to tears? Well I certainly am today.

Between trying to run a part time business, a full time job and still be a dedicated wife, daughter, sister, best friend and all round good mate........... I seem to be failing somewhere.
My business has seen me at the Johannesburg Zoo since the beginning of Nov and when I have the chance I sit back and watch the woman walk by, some pregnant, some not, some with kids and others with families, some girls are young and other are older.... and there I sit covered in paint... hair in a pony... longing, wishing, waiting. Envying their content smiles and glances of Love and adoration at little faces that peer up at them in pure joy. What happened to Mars and I's thoughts of kids, it seems to be a distant thought now that my business has taken off and why? I don’t understand how we forgot about the fact that we are against a running hourglass and with every moment the sand runs finer and quicker than the moment before. June saw us in complete shock at the news of problems with fertility, and here we are blissfully walking on with our lives forcing the issue to the back of the closet. Do we think it’s going to go away? Or magically cure it overnight? We keep saying our day will come, Will it? Will it come when we have completely abandoned these hopes? I just don’t understand....... We had this big plan, a plan we intended sticking too and both of us just sit back and pretend like everything will be ok. Our life seems to have taken this whole new direction, working with kids day in and day out. Have we adopted the cute little critters as our own because the work and effort and pain of trying for one is just not worth it and filling our days with moments with other peoples children is enough to give us a small amount of satisfaction, until the days draw to a close and there we both are, without child, pretending that its ok.

There was a point in this past month that we started to believe that I may be pregnant, who were we kidding? The symptoms all pointed to the same thing, my period was coming and no amount of pretending would turn that into a baby. But it was nice, it was nice to think that maybe.....just maybe it may be true (I knew it wasnt, but i liked pretending)

There is a woman who writes a blog called Broxton Baby; I read her work for ages, their journey with infertility and the process of trying to become pregnant. One day she wrote a post entitled "end of the road". my heart broke for as she called it quits in front of everyone, bearing her soul and completely exposing herself, She hasn’t written since. I don’t blame her. Every woman who has ever suffered with pain, discomfort or struggles to fall pregnant will know that at some point you will feel like you want to give up, and for some of us we do..... I know that this is not "the end of the road" for me but heck today is not my day.

I need a break and the fact that i missed my holiday because I fell violently ill with a kidney and bladder infection all at once (which i still believe is from my pathetic immune system which roots from my pathetic useless fertility issue) is really pissing me off today. Other reasons to be completely pissed: loss of major amounts of work because of a server swap over and the fact that I am still in mega amounts of pain.

there you have it girls, raw and unscripted and straight from the horses mouth as they say, I am feeling very sad and very emotional. I don't drink but I swear i could down a bottle of Rose right now with my best friend Ash, who subsequently broke up with her BF this past week, Life's is a bitch.

If you read this and got to the end and had a puddle of drool under your chin from boredom, my sincere apologies... but if you feel the same then cheers. Go buy some Icecream, a bottle of wine and a movie like the notebook and drown them sorrows. heres Hoping tommorrow ill be as right as rain and back to my old self.

The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar....... eff this. Im out.

With a heart that beats lumpy custard, all my love

LuCy Is HavInG OnE Of ThOsE DaYs..........

Hello Lovelies........

Blogging has been a hard thing to keep up with over the last few days and perhaps the last few weeks. The weather is not really playing its part in terms of the heat and I have been very busy juggling a full time job, being a face painter, a good wife and last but not least... blogger. I must admit I feel a little swamped and have neglected you all a little

This past Saturday Marsden and I ventured out to the Johannesburg Zoo for the first of 5 events that I have been booked for, besides two little "10 year old- I know it all" brats; the event went off without a hitch. I painted all the faces I needed to and was very pleased with all the work I produced. The zoo was happy, the parents were happy and it seems this may be the start of many more events to come.

A certain blonde haired blue eyed little girl just made my day. While waiting in the heat for what seemed like an eternity for a 4 year old, and changing her mind about 35 times before finally sitting for her close up, I was presented a very excited giggling face. "A BUTTERFLY!" she exclaimed, and her mind was made up. The pink and purple paint started to flow and with every stroke her heavy tired eyes closed a little more. Once I had finished she look up at her mom for approval, as if to say "did this lady do a good job?” her mom very excitedly nodded and told her that she looked beautiful. The small girl locked eyes with mine and stretched out her tiny arms, they only made it to my elbows but she embraced me with so much gratitude it almost made me get a lump in my throat.

This week will mark the 5Th failed attempt, of actually actively trying for a baby. I woke up this morning with a sense of deep disappointment. Five times seems so little to most, but the fact that I have not had any form of contraceptive in almost 5 years is still very worrying for me, my husband and my doctors. It takes a certain toll on your marriage when you struggle to fit in a missing piece. I say 'missing piece' because so many mothers I have spoken to have told me that once they had a child they felt whole, like everything fell into place. On Sunday I found myself looking at pictures a friend had posted on Face book of a child's birthday, the parents looked so content hovering over their small child with such pride and love. I got teary eyed and Marsden very sternly told me to stop crying. You see, it’s not only you that feels the sense of disappointment and sadness; it’s your partner too. Marsden didn't mean to lash out or be so stern, I believe he was simply just feeling the same way I did at that very moment and didn't really want to have deal with the tears and sadness all over again. You see Mars and I had planned that we would wait for children, and now we really have no choice but to actively think about it and try, or stand the risk of our disappointment being doubled in the long run. And yes ill say it, at times like these I need a Mommy hug.

Hopefully in the next few days I’ll begin to feel a little better and get excited about the very full weeks ahead. This weekend is mad with events, Friday Night is the 50th Birthday party of my second mom (I call her mom because she played a major role in my upbringing) Marsden and I are going to watch the Cricket on Saturday followed by rushing to a year end function that I have been booked to paint at. Sunday see's us rushing to a job at an 8 year olds birthday party followed by my good friend’s engagement party! Monday is a day of pampering as all the girls in the office get whisked off to do hair and make up for our black tie year end function (P.S: I don’t have a dress- eeeeeeeekkkkkk) and the following weekend is jammed packed full of face painting jobs for Serenity Creations. All in all very busy couple of days ahead, and the weeks to follow are much the same! and before I blink we will be singing loudly and watching Michaela open presents under the tree, only to blink again to be screaming 10, 9, 8, 7,......... and there you have it, 2011 will be over.

What do you want for Christmas?

Marsden vows never to say "this is going to be the best year ever", the last time he said it he lost me for 6 months and was unemployed. We both agree that we should rather pray that the New Year holds great things for us both and for our marriage. What do you look forward to in the New Year?

I won’t promise amazing things for the New Year, I will however promise to blog alot more and keep you all in the loop.

With all my love......

LuCy LoVeS........... FeELInG InSpIrEd........A PrOmIsE.......

Hello lovelies...


Its a warm sunday afternoon, and after hearing about a good friends engagement i am just buzzing with excitement. it brings me back to the time that Marsden rode me up a mountain on horse back and got down on one knee to pop the question, most of the things he said are a fuzzy haze as a complete contentment filled my soul. There is really something about that moment that no one else can share with you, and when it happens it feels like all the surrounding features simply fade into darkness and there you both are, filled with undying love and a certainty of whats to come.

Marsden is asleep on the couch, and iv put a load of washing on after cleaning up the house. While i was walking through the house picking up socks and dirty clothes from the weekend, I paused in the doorway of the second guest bedroom. The room is small and intimate and homes my beautiful antique dresser that i inherited from my late Grandmother, the legs are made up of ball and claw and the mirror is filled with character from years of use. I love looking into that mirror, it makes me think of a younger version of my grandmother, sweeping her hair into curls while waiting for my Grandfather to get home. Just knowing that she once looked into that mirror makes me feel somewhat connected to her, almost as though the mirror reflected her marriage and is now reflecting mine. Besides being home to my dresser, the only other piece of furniture in the room is an old rocking chair that i inherited from my Aunt, the legs are wound up in a gorgeous spiral design and the seat reclines a long way back. I hung out in front of the door before finally stepping inside and taking a seat on the rocker. As i slowly reclined back and started to rock to and fro i gazed out of the window and felt the warm summer heat on my skin, I thought about the room and the potential it had, Could this space be more that just a dressing room for me?. I felt overwhelemd with faith and promise of an exciting future, that through all the discomfort and longing, oneday, I would be rocking a small child in my arms on that rocking chair, and have that mirror reflect Marsden and I's family.

Hearing about my friends engagement reminded me about the promise of marriage, and what an amazing gift it really is. To share all you have with one person, and as Iv heard it put before "irritate someone really special for the rest of your life". The other promise is that of new life, the chance to share the greatest bond, the bond of becoming a family. i know that our promise will be fufilled, Its the one thing that i feel content about and have the utmost faith in.

Remember all the promises you have in your life my lovelies, the very things that make you pause for just a moment and take a second to take it all in. Even if it is just rocking back and forth in a rocking chair for a few moment dreaming of what may lie ahead in your life.

With all my love.....

LuCy LoVeS.... UpGrAdInG To A .CoM

Helllllloooooo Lovelies...........

Today is a lovely day, and as i gaze out the frosted window of my office i can see the rumbling dark clouds slowly making their way towards me with the promise of rain, although you can never really trust the rain clouds in Johannesburg.I promised that i would post pictures from the Kings of Leon Concert that we went to over the weekend, and I promise i will, i need to work on editing a few of the pictures and really make the post amazing, just as amazing as the concert was. So if you'll stick around a little longer I promise to deliver something truly worth the wait.

So many of the blogs i have been reading have their very own .com webpages and soon ill be making the move over to my own domain. I would really like to grow I love Lucy into something special, and i feel a little limited with blogger. The trouble with making a move like this is the possibility of losing a couple of my lovely readers and i reallllllly dont want to do that, so closer to the time i will give you all the new domain name and i hope that you will all make the move with me. I should still be on blogger for a little while longer as the webpage has alot of work that needs to be done. I will also be copying all of the posts from i blogger to the new page, so you wont miss out on anything.

Last night Mars and I tried out the camera for the first time, I must admit its very awkward to watch yourself on camera, But I am certainly going to try. I plan to make a few tutorial vlogs and everything looks like its in order, so that should be an exciting quirk to the new webpage. Ladies pop me a comment if there is anything you would like me to talk about or do on my vlogs. This past weekend i did a grecian inspired hair do for my brothers girlfriend, and she loved it so much i decided ill do a tutorial on it.

The main thing about I love lucy is that i really want to try stay away from being to one dimensional, i dont just want this to be a space to blog about trends or hair. My main objective with this blog is to make it a personal space of all the things i love in life, and allow you to come along with me and read about my experiences, the same way i love following you.

I am really looking forward to this new adventure as i blog my way through my day to day life, and even more than that i look forward to sharing it with you.

Hope you are having an amazing day.........

With all my love......

LuCy LoVeS....... A LiL ApPrEcIaTiOn & StACkS oF LoVe..........

Hello Lovelies......

So first off i gotta rave about the primer i wrote about yesterday, i put it on this morning and its AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! seriously ladies if you want flawless glowing skin i would highly reccomend using the MAC primer before foundation application. Today the post is not about make up or fashion its about love and appreciation for the ones that are in your life.

After our crazy move to a bigger place, Mars and I found that we were struggling to keep up with day to day chores. Stupid fights come up when things like that happen, "why didnt you do the dishes" blah blah blah, and so we decided to make a roster. I must admit that the roster has been a huge hit, so successful infact that when people see it on our fridge they ask if they can steal the idea and make their own.

At the end of the day its not really about the roster, it not about feeling obligated to wash the dishes or do a load of laundry, its all about appreciation. Taking the time to appreciate the person you married, or perhaps the person you live with is really important, its a way of saying "i acknowledge you", its a way of showcasing your love and affection, even if its just making the bed, or cleaning out the cat sand box (Yuck!).

haha if only we could all clean the house this gracefully.... lol i usually have my hair in a pony and some old grubby t shirt on.

Well lovelies, thats all the 'sentimental' you going to get out of me this afternoon, it must be the heat, but i am running on a very small percentage of brain capacity at the moment. I really need all the energy i can get at this point because tomorrow we have a full day of family and friends and then the KINGS OF LEON CONCERT!!!! tomorrow night. I am so excited i could just jump right out of my skin. I have loved this band for soooooooooo long and finally i am going to see them, yeeehaaaaaaa! what bands have you had the priviledge of seeing live? leave a comment, id love to know.

Please stay tuned next week as im going to be doing a full write up on the concert and all that happened. Plus ill do a lil write up on what we all wore and the hair and make up involved.

My lovelies have a fantastic weekend and soak up all the goodness that life has to offer.

All my love......

LuCy LoVeS........ 10!

My lovelies........

I just had a look and noticed that i officially have 10 followers! my goodness after blogging to just my husband and a good friend for months i finally have more than two people interested in what i have to say! wowzers.

Love all your blogs already..... cant wait to see what the future in the blogger community holds.

With all my love, and enourmous gratitude......

LuCy LoVeS..... MaC AnD LuLuS!

Hello Lovelies.............


The weather really seems to be easing up, or perhaps im being fooled by my glorious air con? either way im feeling a lot cooler and looking forward to some possible rain this evening. Our master bedroom is upstairs in our home and so its like sleeping in a desert, i will gladly welcome some rain.

Today i want to do a bit of a product review, I havent done one in a while and this is one that i just love. If you have been reading my blog for a while you will know that i am in love with Essence and Mac. Essence is just a fun range of really girly products while I use Mac for all my foundation - (the truth is, if I could afford it i would buy all my make up there)

Today i went out and bought my foundation, i usually use the studio fix fluid in NW 20 and today i made the change to NW 18. while i loved the look of the 20, the 18 is far more subtle and matches my very fair skin perfectly. the thing about MAC is the long wear application, one application in the morning and you have nothing to worry about for the rest of the day. You may need to touch up if you are going out on the town in the evening, but generally one application a day will last. The make up artist advised using a primer before applying the foundation, creating a three step process of moisturizer, priming of the face and then the application of foundation. I truly think the key to a flawless, and more importantly seamless, looking skin is to use a good foundation brush. Up until about a year ago i was applying all my base with my hands, causing my skin to break out worse than ever. i was advised by a make up artist at MAC to start using a foundation brush, i found one that had a rounded tip, allowing it to completely contour to my face, getting in all those small hard to reach areas that your fingers miss. As of now i have a small amount of primer to see me through a couple days, just so i get a feel for it and if i like i will probably go back and buy a tube.

My purchases for the day....

Another wonderful little thing that I discovered was a lovely stippling brush from MAC. The great thing about the store is they will help you test and choose the best possible products for your skin type. While testing out different colours on my skin the make up artist used this amazing stippling brush. I had to stop myself from falling asleep and drooling all over her as it was soooo soft and gentle on my face. and the results with the brush were amazing. This will definitely be a be a future investment of mine. I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT BRUSH!!!

this brush is amazing....want, want, want....

The walk back to the office took me past one of my favorite coffee shop, Lulu's, and a caramel mocha with an extra shot really went down nicely after a lovely little splurge.

Ladies pop me a comment with your fav make up brand and product at the moment....

Have a wonderful evenings lovelies

With all my love.........

LuCy LoVeS... RaNtS AnD RaVeS! (i wont lie i wrote this on Monday)

Hello lovelies....

so today is a real "welcome to Africa" kinda day, we are suffering with a major heat wave at the moment, I think it’s about 39 degrees outside, but lucky me I’m enjoying the cool air conditioning in my office, I hear that we better brace ourselves as this is gunna last a while.

Marsden and I really enjoyed a wonderful weekend, we had the honor and privilege of babysitting little miss Michaela, aka Munchy, Munchkin, Mickey Mouse, Mouse or Pea (the last couple are names I call her). I think looking after another little person makes you realize a certain amount of "maternal instinct", things come naturally and you kinda just do them... so I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a real mom, I guess that's why moms don’t mind dirty nappies and vomit too much. I on the other hand still have a major problem with vomit and my best friend and I agree that as a woman you need to have your children very close together and make them sleep in bunk beds, that way if one of them throws up in the middle of the night you can wake the other and say "hey you wanna make 20 Bucks" with a lovely grin on your face. We both agree that this is a brilliant plan, however many moms have laughed at our brilliance and simply say "when it’s your own you don’t care"; I guess I’ll have to test the theory.

with the new Monkey that uncle Mars bought me......


Today has been one of those days, I’ve dropped everything, made silly typing errors and called people by an incorrect name, I guess it’s a case of the Monday blues but my aching back certainly has played a role in it all. That’s my rant... My rave is that it’s only 5 more sleeps till we go to the Kings of Leon concert. Mars and I don’t often go out and when he surprised me with tickets I almost jumped out my skin, after suffering with a kidney, bladder and chest infection all at once we had to suddenly cancel a holiday we had been planning for weeks, I felt very sorry for myself and so My wonderful Husband surprised me with the tickets to make it all better!

I feel kinda bad that I haven’t had the opportunity to blog in a couple days, in fact I have been reading some incredible blog posts and all the while I keep thinking "where do you find the time????". Between working, cleaning my house, and trying to have some normal social life I find it very difficult to blog every day. I find those woman who blog all the time have such a passion for it and perhaps my posts are not as in depth and exciting to read, either way I still love doing it, and am very proud that I have a whole nine people following me! yeeehaaaaa! Thanks guys.. You make it worth it.

Have any of you found a blog that you are raving about at the moment? I have been reading soooo many it’s hard to pin point one that I really love. Pop me a comment with blogs that you love and share it!

Wishing you all a fantastic week filled with love laughter and rays of goodness.

With all my love........

LuCy LoVeS........... FaCe PaInTiNg.........

Hello Lovelies...........

So my lovely hubby suggested i write a little bit about what i do for a living, and i thought that would be a great idea since i havent really posted about that.

i work for a fantastic company in melrose arch called Metalmin, i just love it here. the people are amazing and we truly treat each other like family. everyday here is exciting and challenging and most of all fun!

take a look:

Yes thats me! playing silly in the office!

gorgeous surprise party for me in the office!

um we love coffee......

And Foos ball.........

When im not having fun at work and hanging out with my amazing colleagues, im running my side line business called Serenity Creations.

I love children and have always had a passion to work with them somehow. After i studied in design i found i wasting my painting abilities and decided to do something about it. I loved children and art and after doing my first face painting party i was hooked. there is no better feeling than seeing that tiny face light up when they look in the mirror and see their new creation, it really is the most rewarding feeling in the world!

take a look at some of my work:

helps when the kids are soooooo cute!

This was from a dance festival i did.....

Some body art....

I hope you enjoyed this piece about me and what i do......... all your comments are welcome! Please be kind! hehe

With all my love

LuCy LoVeS........... PeRsOnAl BlOgS.........

Hello lovelies...

Lately i have been reading a lot of personal Blogs, don't get me wrong i love the fashion related posts on top designers and new products, but there is something quite unique about a personal blog. Of course i have been reading the ones about couples trying to become parents, but also the posts of peoples day to day lives, filled with triumph and troubles. I kinda admire people who allow you into their hearts when they write posts to hundreds of strangers, they allow themselves to become vulnerable and open to much criticism, but at the same time are giving you a chance to learn from them.

I have always wanted 'i Love Lucy' to be personal, sure i want to give you the scoop on fashion and all things trendy, but i also want to relate to you as a reader on another level. My write up mentions that i will tackle everything from music to day to day life, and that is what i really want to do, so here goes.... today i write about my life right now.

A little while ago i wrote a post entitled: hopes of happiness and tiny toes. A lot has happened since then, we have moved into a stunning little home and really are achieving a true state of happiness. i want to create a home that is filled with love and light and as the saying goes "i want a home that will always be too small for all our family and friends". When my niece Michaela starts to throw a tantrum or gets tears in her eyes (which does not happen often, bless her)I say "we dont cry in this house", unless ofcourse its for a happy reason or a good movie. I truly want to stick to that, may i have a home that is always filled with love and laughter and never with sadness or tears.

Happiness!

Marsden and i continue to pray about our situation in the baby making division. We know that all the pain i experience and all the doctors trips i make are part of a biger plan to get my body healthy and ready for a family. It remains frustrating to know that so many months have past, and still i struggle with feeling uncomfortable and achy. I believe the best thing for us is to stick to the plan....start the Fertility meds in the new year and if nothing happens go for the laparoscopy. One thing i know for sure, is I cant continue to live the way i do, i would love to have some quality of life in that division without all the aches and pains.


I have been reading a few blogs about woman who experience the same symptoms i do and are ultimately in the same boat. I feel connected to them even though we know nothing about one another. I often think the battles of infertilty and even fertility problems are so unfair, and I joke about all the teen moms out there who must be doing something right. But at the end of the day, I know that we are all on a journey, a journey without a map that winds us through dirt roads and sometimes through smooth open tarmacs, and someday when it is right we will all enjoy that moment of becoming parents.

With the year winding down i look forward to my favourite time of year, CHRISTMAS!. this year is especially special for Marsden and I as we have gained two new family members as my brother is dating a lovely girl who has the most gorgeous little girl alive who we just love to bits. Leigh and Michaela have really brought a wonderful new dynamic to the family and we just love them dearly... Hopefully someday soon we will be hearing wedding bells, what a blessing another wedding will be!

Michaela baking at our place!

Silly season is here with the shopping malls putting up christmas trees!

Uncle Mars and Michaela playing blocks!

Me and my new sisterly!

Soooooooooo in love, My Brother and Leigh!


I hope to post more sentimental and personal pieces in future, read them or dont but i hope to take this blog to another level and not be too one dimensional.


Take care my Lovelies......

With all my love